Biblical manhood is not about being macho

Today at CBMW, our director of international outreach Gavin Peacock provides a solid framework for men to provide masculine mentorship to other young men.  This is a tremendous need in our churches today.  One of the main misunderstandings of biblical manhood is the view that it is macho—men with beards, wearing flannel, killing their dinner, and conquering mountains.  While I enjoy all of those manly activities, manhood is more about maturity than being macho.

Peacock rightly states this:

Paul tells the men of Corinth, “Act like men” (1 Cor. 16:13). Men should act in a masculine, not effeminate way. Paul doesn’t coddle men because he knows it produces self-pity. And self-pity is the blight of manhood because it leads to passivity. Abuse gets the headlines, but passivity is the silent killer of manhood. We know this from Adam’s passive indifference that caused the fall of man. In contrast, Jesus’ proactive passion was at the heart of redemption.

Biblical manhood is not about being macho, but mature. A biblical man is humble, gentle and strong, and one who exercises authority for the good of others, no matter what it costs him in time, money, or reputation.

In fact, I believe this so much, that I am willing to talk about this on almost any platform that I have.  Here are a few things you can do today that will be marks of pursuing mature manhood, not macho manhood, and will make Satan tremble.

  1. Work harder at being a husband and father than anything else today.
  2. If single, work hard at what is right in front of you.  Don’t cut corners.
  3. Walk with a posture of courageous gentleness towards others.  Walk with courage, but be gentle in your posture.
  4. Make decisions for the benefit of others, not just yourself.
  5. Pursue purity.  Clothe yourself in Scripture and allow your mind and heart to focus on the things of Christ.

[INFOGRAPHIC] A Resource for Studying the Bible

At FC, we have been going through a series called The Word.  It’s been a helpful series as we have looked at some of the hard questions of Scripture (e.g., Are the errors in the Bible?  Why were some books not included?  Who decided upon which books go into the Canon of Scripture?).

Alongside of this discussion has been an encouragement to develop a daily rhythm for being in God’s Word.  We released this REAP Card as a helpful tool to that end.

REAP Card copy

REAP Card copy (back)

[VIDEO] What is Your Bible Reading Rythym?

In this 5-minute video, Pastor Brandt Waggoner and I talk about our bible reading routines and encourage you to find yours.

[INFOGRAPHIC] A guide for teenagers (and their parents) to date differently

Over the past month, our family ministry staff at Foothills Church has been working on a guide for teenagers and their parents concerning dating.  If you know me, then you know I am absolutely against dating, unless you are ready for marriage.  It is mind-blowing to me when I hear of middle school students “dating,” or high school students dating who are years away from marriage.

Listen, there is nothing that brings more guilt-stricken teenagers and confused parents to my office for counseling sessions then this topic.

I recently put a few of my thoughts concerning this topic into an article at the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood.  Here is an excerpt from this article:

I think this topic—how you handle dating, sex, and marriage as a teenager—will help you flourish as a young person, or it will destroy you.  You see, before sin came into the world, we didn’t need to have conversations around “how teenagers should date for the glory of God.”  Because we live in a post-Genesis 3 world, and a post-Industrial Revolution world at that (which became ground zero for a new phenomena known as youth culture), conversations like this need to happen.  Here is what I want to get off my chest right from the beginning:  the way young people view and pursue dating, sex, and marriage today = DISASTER!  I have been working with teenagers and their families for the past 10 years, and nothing brings more counseling sessions with conflicted parents and teens who are full of guilt and shame to my office than this topic.  Whenever these conversations, counseling sessions, teaching moments, and sermons take place, I always go back to 5 words to guide our conversation:


I go onto to define what I mean by these 5-words.  For teenagers and their parents, these words are crucial and formative throughout your preparation time for marriage.

For our purpose here, however, I want to give you an infographic that will hopefully be a roadmap for you in your dating pursuits.  If you have any questions, thoughts, or comments on this stuff, shoot me a comment.  I would love to converse.

Screen Shot 2015-03-09 at 2.08.29 PM

Letting boys be non-medicated boys will take more work

This week over at the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, I published an article on the over-diagnosis of ADHD in boys and the solution of Ritalin.  Needless to say, it garnered lots of attention—as was the purpose of the article.

Even the goodness of boyhood energy is broken by the fall.  But in most cases, what if we are getting the diagnosis wrong?  What if ADHD seems more like God-given characteristics of what it means to actually be a boy?  Here is an excerpt from the article:

[Read more…]

Following your thoughts can lead you to places you don’t want to go

There are times in life when we forget that our emotions are just as fallible as our thinking, especially when they begin to intertwine.  Someone can say something that sets us down a path of insecurities and taking things personal.  We could be driving down the road and think of a failure we experienced years ago, and then our minds begin to wonder to our other failures.  We, then, begin to feel those all too common thoughts of not being good enough.

Being both emotional and intellectual is what it means to be human—a reflection of our Creator.  And when we find ourselves following that thought-spiral-of-destruction, it shows us that we are in fact human.  Fallen humans.  Sinful humans.  Humans in need of absolutes.

The Apostle Paul encourages us in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to take “take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

Every time you find yourself beginning to follow a destructive thought to a bad place, fight through your fallible emotions, and ask yourself, “Is this truth?”  When you do that, you can remind yourself of what actually is truth.  It’s not the fallible way in which you think about yourself.  It’s what God did for us in Christ.

That is truth.  And that is a good place to go.

SERMON: BLURRED LINES (Part 1) — DATING: Reject, Accept, Redeem? | Foothills Student Ministry

January Articles at CBMW

Throughout January, I had the opportunity to write several articles for CBMW.  Here is a summary from the article, “I Resolve to Mature Manhood:”

It is no secret that manhood is being attacked in our culture.  It is increasingly risky to be a man who possesses complementarian values.  Men, today, are taking the heat of feminist word bombs.  Manhood is neutered in the media, especially in television and movies.  It is no longer culturally proper to be a man whose manhood calls him to be the spiritual leader of his home, or serve well in his local church, or work hard, or date his daughter, or strive for purity.  I am saying here that those are the most befitting things you can do as man.  In fact, they are the manliest.

It is to these pursuits I resolve.

Men who tote guns on their hips, have long beards that dribble with stew, or can conquer mountains by only wearing their Chacos, often are the personifications of manhood as it is commonly displayed in the church.  These traits, however, are not necessarily the qualities of mature manhood.  The reverse is also true.  Men who work as baristas in the inner city, sport skinny jeans, and don earrings are not the antithesis of biblical manhood either.  What is more, if the skinny jean wearing barista pursues Jesus with a ferocious posture, and the mountain man does not, who is manlier?  It is always the one who labors towards the “fullness of Christ.”

This is mature manhood, and it is to this I resolve.



How Should I Choose a Job?

What Can You Expect from CBMW Manual in 2015?

The Best of CBMW Manual from 2014

I Resolve to Mature Manhood (repost)

SERMON: #NoFilter Series | Foothills Student Ministry

SERMONS: Hipster Humanity | Foothills Student Ministry

Through the month of November, I preached a series for Foothills Student Ministry called Hipster Humanity.  In this series, I talked about biblical manhood and womanhood and what it means for teenagers to flourish as young men and young women in our culture today.  As teenagers struggle with sex, dating, relationships, gender confusion, and gender identity, this is a topic that must continually be put before them.

Furthermore, we must teach dads and moms to teach their children what being a man and being a woman is according to Scripture, and walk with those students who don’t have dads and moms to model it to them.




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