Pornography: A Killer to Christianity
In all my conversations with men about porn and lust, I have never met anyone unaffected by this sin. I’d like to share a quote I read once; and while it is an extreme, I feel is telling of the day in which we live, “Email is for classwork, Facebook is for stalking, MySpace is for stalking those who aren’t legal, and everything else on the internet is porn.”
With the advances of the internet, for the first time explicit sexual sin can be a completely isolated event. Now, people can struggle immensely with sexual perversion and nobody ever knows. Before, at least two people were involved: premarital sex; prostitution; or at the very least the cashier who sold the dirty magazine. But now, pornography can be privatized and seek to destroy even the casual user of the internet.
Shame, guilt, and embarrassment now only have to be deleted from a history box, and the outside shell of a dying soul can maintain a look of regularity.
But does it affect the Kingdom of Christ even if hidden?
As I said before, every man who I have talked with personally has dealt with porn; but there has never failed to be another correlation just as staggering. Spiritual Deadness. Every Christian man that deals with porn can testify that there is a dryness and indifference to his life concerning Jesus. Every time they pray, it’s as if they cannot find words or they are speaking to an imaginary friend. Their excitement for the Word is gone. Their love for the church is gone.
Why does pornography and lust kill the heart? 1 Peter 3:7 provides an answer, “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” God does not pay attention to men who do not honor women.
Porn has allowed men to dishonor women without them even having to be involved. The objectifying of a woman for selfish gratification is just as bad as yelling at a woman, hitting a woman, or using a woman. They all end with the result of God refusing to listen to your prayer.
When lust dominates, every prayer of thanks before a meal is unheard; every prayer for understanding in Sunday School is useless; every song sung in worship is to no avail; and every attempt to listen to the word preached is mocked at by God.
Do you see now why porn is a killer to Christ’s Kingdom? Because when men do not honor women, God is not involved. And when God is not involved, we have no hope. We must kill porn or it will kill us eternally.
Greg Gibson
Whitney Clayton
Ben Ward
While I agree that pornography is a sin, I have to disagree with your comment: “God does not pay attention to men who do not honor women.” Something about that comment makes God seem petty and vindictive. All sin separates us from God. Martin Luther said sin is when we turn inward on ourselves, focusing on “me” instead of God. The use of porn is not some special or higher sin. Sin is sin whether it is a lie, lust, or murder. In God’s eye, it’s all the same. God doesn’t turn away from us when he sins, rather he calls us to repentance and calls us back to Himself. If what you say is true, then why the Incarnation?
The second to last sentence should read: “God doesn’t turn away from us when we sin”. Sorry about the typo.
Thanks for your post Craig, you’re the first comment on the Veritas Network, Congrats!
You are right when you say that all sin separates us from God, that God is merciful and not petty as he deals with our sin, and that the incarnation death and resurrection of Jesus calls us to forgiveness rather than condemnation.
My concern is not one of salvation in this post, rather spiritual vitality. When a person is sinful in human relationships (in this case with pornography) it messes with their relationship with God. And God does not honor or bless our prayers when we harbor sin in our lives. I used the words ‘pay attention’ just to use conversational words.
Thanks again for reading and commenting, I hope you have a Merry Christmas!
So what do you consider to be the case with David after the whole Bathsheeba deal? If God doesn’t pay attention to men who don’t honor women”, then why the effort to convict David? It seems to me that when we sin, whether in private or with another, God steps up his a-game to get us to repent and be drawn back to Him. In any manner, the verse is referring to WIVES is it not? There is a different relationship between man and wife than with man and woman. Dishonoring your wife is breaking a vow that you made before God in marriage. Since marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, dishonoring your wife violates the image of that relationship and would therefore make sense for prayers to be hindered (or tedious depending on your greek preference)
Nick, good questions and thanks for discussing. As for David, I agree that God calls us to repentance when we are in sin. God doesn’t dismiss us in the sense of writing us off forever. But if we live in continual sin, he doesn’t ‘pay attention’ in the sense of blessing our prayers for a vibrant christian life. Repentance changes everything. David did that; he repented from dishonoring women (Bathsheba specifically) and his murder and cried for God to wash him clean.
As far as speaking to wives. You are right, the text is primarily speaking to the husband wife relationship. I made an implication from that relationship for our culture’s obsession with porn. Can a man honor a one woman relationship by lusting after fake sex with countless women through pictures or video? Does this not count as dishonoring the picture of Christ and the church?
Right, he doesn’t bless us with a “vibrant christian life”, but any sin is a separation from God, which will result in lot having that vibrancy. My question is, where do you draw the line? Your general statement of “God does not pay attention to men who do no honor woman” doesn’t really leave room for repentance. It says that upon the act of dishonoring a woman, God removes His attention from us.
In regards to your question, I would say yes, that it is possible to honor that relationship. Were the man to be in a relationship while struggling is a different story though; in the act of lusting over another woman, he has dishonored that relationship. This does not count as dishonoring the picture of Christ and the church though.;This counts as man dishonoring God’s creation (as all lust does). The two become one in marriage, not in dating or any other capacity.
Don’t get me wrong in all of this, I completely agree that pornography is crippling to a spiritual walk, I just disagree that it removes God’s ear from us. I’d hate to be stuck and stranded in a life a sin without the grace of Jesus Christ that never leaves.
Two things: I think you are over generalizing what I meant by pay attention. As I said in my reply, I agree with you that God doesn’t write us off. But, God will not pay attention in the sense of blessing our prayers if we are in habitual sin. Thats all I meant.
Second (and this is the only reason I replied because there will always be disagreement to some extent), your wrong that a man can honor marriage (even if single) while looking at porn. Here’s a challenge that will demonstrate my point in the article: go to any woman in your life (mom, g/friend, sister, wife, whatever you have) and ask them “I just spent the last five minutes looking at porn, how does that make you fell?” I would guess when you think of how a woman is objectified through this sinful empire, you will have a different outlook on the depths of hurt porn causes.
Well the only reason that I commented in the first place was really to clarify what you meant by “pay attention” because it was left in a rather vague sense; I’d hate for someone who doesn’t have a biblical view of God to look at the post and misunderstand. I guess then that we can come to a mutual agreement on that point.
And i agree that there will be some disagreement about whether a person can esteem, or honor, marriage while struggling; your challenge, however, is irrelevant to the discussion. A single man telling that to a friend will leave the woman feeling disrespected (in the sense of the objectification of women) but will not feel dishonored in a marital sense (since there is no marital affiliation). I will wholeheartedly agree that struggling while married is a complete dishonoring of marriage.
There is a theme throughout Scripture that God blesses only through obedience (Abraham, David, Solomon, the nation of Israel, Paul’s doctrine of justification/sanctification in Romans, Galatians, and Ephesians, etc. etc. etc). I would deem that any sin that classifies disobedience within a Christian’s life hinders God’s blessing on them, wether you want to use the nomenclature of ‘pay attention to’ or not.
A single Christian man struggling with porn needs be told this at the same time, if not more, than Jesus giving you grace because of your struggle.
I agree with Ben that God will not “pay attention to” men who mistreat women. Blessing, whether answered prayer, etc., only comes through obedience. My counsel to young guys that struggle with looking at naked women is much like what Mark Driscoll would say, “repent, put a belt on, find a wife, and look at her naked!”
God only blesses through obedience is one of the biggest lies in Christianity. Your list of people were the biggest sinners on the planet. God blessed them because of His love, not because of any acts (lest anyone should boast). David’s repentance after Bathsheba was short-lived. He had multiple wives and left them to die when fleeing his son. There is no obedience that can earn God’s blessing. If you look throughout the history of scripture, you’ll actually find people blessed despite their disobedience. And, vibrant Christian life is a non-descript term. I sin all the time (i am human) yet God is gracious – he certainly hears my prayers and I am blessed beyond measure. I certainly feel shame when i struggle with lust. It certainly impacts my relationship with my wife (in ways probably deeper than i ever know) but God has not stopped revealing himself to me in his word, has not stopped drawing me to him, has not stopped pouring out unmerited blessing and favor on me.
Please don’t perpetuate the myth that God only blesses those who are obedient. There is none righteous enough. I agree we should be against porn. It kills relationships, distorts our view of women and leads to unrealistic expectations for my wife and my sex life. For those reasons and many more, we should be against it and encourage men and women to avoid it. But not out of fear that God will not bless us. Out of a desire to honor God and follow him, knowing that God’s blessing is not dependant on our action, but based on his character.
Last but not least, telling people who struggle with lust to get married is actually part of the problem. It continues to perpetuate the objectification of women – that they are there to meet our lust quotient. Don’t work on being a person who doesn’t lust, just get married and have your wife meet your sinful needs. Lust won’t go away by getting married. That expectation leads to more marital problems. But I wouldn’t expect more from Driscoll – his view of women isn’t exactly stellar.
I don’t claim to be up to the level of all these discussions, but as for marriage not being a means to deal with lust, Paul seems to have taught the exact opposite in the first 16 verses of 1st Corinthians 7.
Matt 1516 thanks for your comment! I appreciate your insight! I do want to encourage you to stay away from negative arguing. I pray that we would be a sight for equipping and encouraging a generation, not bickering and speaking ill of other brothers and sisters (i.e., Driscoll). Also, we confess we might be wrong on some stuff, and when we are we hope to repent and sharpen our views to be more consistent with Scripture.
I would encourage you to do a study on the covenants (Abrahamic, Davidic, Mosaic) and seek out why God chose to bless Israel when he did and why he chose to send them into slavery, why he allowed them to be conquered by nations, and why he removed his hand from them when they were disobedient.
Thanks for commenting!
For His glory alone,
Greg Gibson
Ben, that was a great article. Thanks for posting.