I would encourage you to do a study on the covenants (Abrahamic, Davidic, Mosaic) and seek out why God chose to bless Israel when he did and why he chose to send them into slavery, why he allowed them to be conquered by nations, and why he removed his hand from them when they were disobedient.

Thanks for commenting!

For His glory alone,

Greg Gibson

Please don’t perpetuate the myth that God only blesses those who are obedient. There is none righteous enough. I agree we should be against porn. It kills relationships, distorts our view of women and leads to unrealistic expectations for my wife and my sex life. For those reasons and many more, we should be against it and encourage men and women to avoid it. But not out of fear that God will not bless us. Out of a desire to honor God and follow him, knowing that God’s blessing is not dependant on our action, but based on his character.

Last but not least, telling people who struggle with lust to get married is actually part of the problem. It continues to perpetuate the objectification of women – that they are there to meet our lust quotient. Don’t work on being a person who doesn’t lust, just get married and have your wife meet your sinful needs. Lust won’t go away by getting married. That expectation leads to more marital problems. But I wouldn’t expect more from Driscoll – his view of women isn’t exactly stellar.

A single Christian man struggling with porn needs be told this at the same time, if not more, than Jesus giving you grace because of your struggle.

I agree with Ben that God will not “pay attention to” men who mistreat women. Blessing, whether answered prayer, etc., only comes through obedience. My counsel to young guys that struggle with looking at naked women is much like what Mark Driscoll would say, “repent, put a belt on, find a wife, and look at her naked!”

And i agree that there will be some disagreement about whether a person can esteem, or honor, marriage while struggling; your challenge, however, is irrelevant to the discussion. A single man telling that to a friend will leave the woman feeling disrespected (in the sense of the objectification of women) but will not feel dishonored in a marital sense (since there is no marital affiliation). I will wholeheartedly agree that struggling while married is a complete dishonoring of marriage.

Second (and this is the only reason I replied because there will always be disagreement to some extent), your wrong that a man can honor marriage (even if single) while looking at porn. Here’s a challenge that will demonstrate my point in the article: go to any woman in your life (mom, g/friend, sister, wife, whatever you have) and ask them “I just spent the last five minutes looking at porn, how does that make you fell?” I would guess when you think of how a woman is objectified through this sinful empire, you will have a different outlook on the depths of hurt porn causes.

In regards to your question, I would say yes, that it is possible to honor that relationship. Were the man to be in a relationship while struggling is a different story though; in the act of lusting over another woman, he has dishonored that relationship. This does not count as dishonoring the picture of Christ and the church though.;This counts as man dishonoring God’s creation (as all lust does). The two become one in marriage, not in dating or any other capacity.

Don’t get me wrong in all of this, I completely agree that pornography is crippling to a spiritual walk, I just disagree that it removes God’s ear from us. I’d hate to be stuck and stranded in a life a sin without the grace of Jesus Christ that never leaves.

As far as speaking to wives. You are right, the text is primarily speaking to the husband wife relationship. I made an implication from that relationship for our culture’s obsession with porn. Can a man honor a one woman relationship by lusting after fake sex with countless women through pictures or video? Does this not count as dishonoring the picture of Christ and the church?

You are right when you say that all sin separates us from God, that God is merciful and not petty as he deals with our sin, and that the incarnation death and resurrection of Jesus calls us to forgiveness rather than condemnation.

My concern is not one of salvation in this post, rather spiritual vitality. When a person is sinful in human relationships (in this case with pornography) it messes with their relationship with God. And God does not honor or bless our prayers when we harbor sin in our lives. I used the words ‘pay attention’ just to use conversational words.

Thanks again for reading and commenting, I hope you have a Merry Christmas!