Why Young People Hate the Church

Every time someone says, “I think it’s okay to love Jesus and not go to church,” I get a horrible feeling in my stomach.  In fact, I get a little heated and confrontational.  
I have had many conversations with young guys over the last several months about why they hate the church.  Many of them are not Christians, albeit many of them are and many of them run in my circles.  It is a common idea for young people today to think they can dig Jesus but not his church.  They love “the Lord,” but have no idea what the message of the Bible is.  Young people all over the country on college campuses spend Sunday mornings in their dorm room asleep or on someone’s floor hung over and have no desire whatsoever to be in a ‘church building.’  

 In retrospect, why is this sad and heretical statement so often repeated over and over again by young people all over the world?

Here’s what I think and what many have told me:

1. Many who say this are non-regenerate.  Many people who say, “You can love Jesus and not his church” really have no concept of what true Christianity is and are in fact non-regenerate.  I realize this is a big statement.  I’m not saying ‘all,’ though I am saying ‘many.’  Many have not been discipled as they should have been for whatever reason and have HUGE misunderstandings of what the church is; many have been influenced by guys they should stay away from (i.e., Brian McLaren, Tony Jones, Rob Bell)… anyone who labels themselves ‘Emergent.’  (I do realize that labeling Rob Bell as ‘bad’ just lost us 90%  of our readers and got the other 10% really mad at me but that’s okay and a risk I’m willing to take); and many have been influenced by culture and are in fact more inclined to please others and have others like them than be obedient to Jesus.
2. Hypocrisy.  Young people can see right through hypocrisy.  When you walk into most church buildings you see a lot of people who act like they have it all together yet they are dying inside for whatever reason.  This is a big reason why young people hate the church… and why the world hates the church for that matter.
3. Contemporary contemporariness.  Everything is contemporary or tries to be contemporary!  I’ve heard it said many times that , “Many churches look like a show.”  When young people walk into churches they hear messages about not conforming to culture yet they are using culture to tell them that message.  We must ask what does that look like and what does that mean?  Many times when ‘lost’ people come into our churches they feel as though they were tricked into coming by a certain promotion or give away item.  
4. They are treated as a program.  Let’s not be mistaken, our churches are very very very program driven.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can be a very bad thing.  I, myself, am very fond of programs when they are used properly and have been in many churches that use them well, but many churches see their task in reaching young people as very programmatic.  Young people do not want to see themselves as a program.  They want to be apart of the church community… not separate. 
5. Exclusivity.  In this age it is not common for someone to hate you for thinking you are ‘right.’  People say all the time that ‘what is right for you is right only for you and what is right someone else is right only for them.’  Young people hate the fact that conservative Bible-believing Christians label the Bible as the ‘only’ way to know God.  We are not teaching why truth is objective and why this is in fact true.  It is interesting because Christians are attacked as being the only wrong ones for believing this when every one else is in the right.  Young people do not want to come into churches and hear a 3 point message about you name it when they are first of all battling the issue of exclusivity.

Here’s’ the deal:  We are not reaching and discipling as we ought.  There are millions of lost college students all over the world who are in need of the gospel.  They hate the church first of all because they are at odds with truth and are influenced by the principalities of this world.  Young people are being influenced by college professors and the like to believe that truth is relative and anything that can be defined as the metaphysical world should be discarded behind the scientific method.  Churches are not reaching young people where they are at… in their unbelief of truth, denial of truth, and relative and plural way of thinking and living.  They can see through hypocrisy  and programs.  How should we reach them?  Am I right or wrong?  What do you think?

NOTE: I know many churches who reach young people and many young people who love Jesus and his church.  This is not a universal blast.