Understanding Sex – Why, Not How

Pop quiz to for you before you start reading – why did God create sex? Think about it. Really. Think about it and come up with an answer that represents what you think about sex.

The two most popular answers are that it was created for entertainment and it was created for procreation, but I believe the Bible makes the case for a third purpose which takes precedence over the other two.

So it is entertaining, but is that its purpose? Most people will not admit to this, but entertainment is the primary purpose behind the sex act for most twenty-somethings living in America. We prove this in the way that we live. Think about how much money is spent on contraceptives ($6.2 billion in 2008); this is a market which exists to encourage the pleasure and entertainment of sex while minimizing the likelihood of resultant responsibility. Maximize pleasure while minimizing responsibility. That sounds pretty fun to me!

What about procreation? I certainly hope this is not the primary purpose for sex, because if it is, even the average Christian may be working against God’s natural plan. St. Augustine held this view of sex, and he explains the end to which this perspective leads. It led him to the belief that sex for any reason outside of an effort at procreation was sinful, because we are placing our pleasure above God’s purpose. That makes complete sense, but I hate where it leads. It means that a husband and wife are misusing the gift of sex if they approach the act with any attitude other than austere duty and obedience to the cultural mandate. With this perspective, if you want to be righteous in your sex life, then bid farewell to passion for your spouse and say hello to rigid baby making in the name of the Lord.

The third perspective on the purpose of sex is one that is rarely talked about and almost never expounded upon, but I believe it is the primary purpose for sex as God intended it. This final reason is called Oneness. This means sex was created to unite a husband and his wife into one flesh. I know this sounds mystical and a little strange, but so does the indwelling of the Spirit, so take it up with Him.

Now, let’s examine the evidence for this position and then talk about what it means for us. Genesis tells us that a man is to leave his father and mother and be united to his wife as one flesh. There is something that happens when a man and woman come together in this way that bonds them, and this perceived bond is not an unfortunate side effect of sex (as many high school and college age wanna be players may feel), it is part of God’s plan to make one flesh from two.

Have you ever wondered why the Bible tells us repeatedly that we are to wait until marriage to have sex?  If sex is God’s way of creating and celebrating the oneness of his greatest creation then it would be heartbreaking for him to see people establishing this bond of oneness with many different people only to break it off with pain and loneliness left behind as a result. You see, God created sex to display his own nature. God’s primary essence is one of mystical unity known to us as the Trinity. He wants man to experience a oneness that is free from shame and embarrassment over our sinful flesh. A husband and wife committed to each other for life know what it is to truly give yourself to another and have that person giving the same to you. This completely naked, vulnerable giving that we experience with our spouse is meant to remind us of the way that God is completely open and unguarded in his love and giving to us! That is a great purpose for sex!

It is a great purpose because it means that we should enjoy sex. The church should be celebrating the joy of sex as an expression of the love of God. The problem is that most people are enjoying sex in the wrong way, and the church responded by acting like sex itself is the problem. Sex as created by God is good, it is the way we abuse it that is bad.

Sex outside of marriage makes a mockery of the purpose for which God created it. Our culture has reduced the nobility of man to the level of a barnyard animal lucky enough to have consciousness and opposable thumbs. In so doing, we have embraced the lie that sex is a natural urge that can be satisfied in any way that we please (through masturbation, friends with benefits, anonymous partners, same sex partners, etc.).  This is a lie that must be confronted and dispelled.

Young men, God wants you to lead your wife down a path of God honoring fidelity; He does not want you to be mastered by your desires to the destruction of your girlfriend’s heart after you finish using her like a wet towel. Young women, God wants you to experience true love through sex; He does not want you to experience hormonal lust through some kid with untamed hormones who can’t control himself.

God created sex to establish a connection which reflects his Glory. Love your spouse often as you experience a hint of the love of a mystical God.