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By Grace Gibson

Though I have not yet begun the adoption process, my adoption journey began some time ago with matters of the heart and my preconceived notions.  Like many, I misunderstood who were the children being adopted, and who it was that adopted those children.  I had no idea there were (and are) 147 million orphans around the world today.  I assumed that all orphans were in nice little orphanages with sweet little grandmother-volunteers soothing them when they cried, and rocking them to sleep.  I had no idea that if an orphaned child is lucky enough to be in an orphanage, he didn’t bother crying because no one was there to answer his cry.

Secondly, I misunderstood who adopted children.  I assumed that only those who could not conceive a child on their own would consider adopting, after spending thousands of dollars on fertility treatments.  And indeed, I do believe adoption is a beautiful solution for couples who long for children, but are unable to have them on their own.  I am against the notion, however, that an orphaned child is the answer to a problem they had.  What kind of understanding do we have of children and adoption if we view helpless children, whose parents died or abandoned them, who have no money, no things, and probably a load of physical and mental issues, as if they are the answer to a problem that WE have?  It breaks my heart that so many close their homes to children because they do not have a “problem” that needs to be fixed.  [...]

For parents with a passion to adopt, the steps prior to legal recognition of the adoption and the final joy of embracing a child as their own can be painstakingly difficult. The necessary tasks for receiving their child include, among other things, finding a legitimate and trustworthy adoption agency.

How do you discern among numerous adoption agencies across the world? To the unfamiliar, all agencies appear honest and sincere. What makes one better than the other? Do all have the same goals for the children? Are some organizations deceitful? How would I know which ones?

For those looking to adopt overseas, the need to be wary of profit-driven, exploitative operations becomes quickly apparent. Many a scammer sees earnest, adoption-seeking Americans as a means of dishonest profit. Being naive of actual costs, a good-hearted, adoption-minded couple can be easily robbed by the thousands. Moreover, the destitute children in Africa or Asia are mistreated, exploited and become the means of illegal gain. [...]

You couldn’t miss him. He was standing in middle of the dusty African road, a tiny, round infant curled in the crook of his arm. Something was wrong — you could tell by the way the young man whimpered out the tears, the way he planted himself in the road like a man paralyzed.

A woman walked up, knowing the young father was too distraught after losing his wife in childbirth earlier that day to comprehend what he should do with the wailing little boy. She picked up the child and found a young woman to nurse him.

Eight months later, and the young father hadn’t returned for his son. The boy still didn’t have a name.

Half a world away, Jeremy and Kristin Regans, both 30, were living the American dream. Jeremy was climbing the ranks as an officer at Beale Air Force Base in northern California, and Kristin was spending her time raising Dylan and Lyla, two towheaded preschoolers. They were active in church, and photos of three teenagers from third-world countries they sponsored for years through Compassion International hung on the door of their refrigerator.

But there was something missing.

“I felt God was calling us to a deeper level of commitment,“ Kristin said. “It would keep me awake at night.” [...]

“Yes, there will be some who don’t understand why you’d want to adopt. Some of them may even be related to you.  This is because for many who’ve never experienced adoption, adoption seems to be simply a Plan B for people who can’t have children.  They’re not able to see the beauty of adoption in and of itself.  So be it.  What better opportunity for you to model the God who adopts from every tongue, tribe, nation, and language and sets all the children together at the same table with the same inheritance and the same love?  When you get puzzled looks from people who don’t understand, just smile and tell them how happy you are for God’s kindness to you, that you’re grateful that he’s blessing you again.”

-Russell D. Moore, Adopted for Life: The Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches, 107.

If adoption is about anything then it is about God as Father playing centerstage in his family.

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