My ministry is marked with discipleship, the desire to develop leaders, and the excitement of passing off ministry to those leaders.  That’s why at Foothills Church we pride ourselves on developing mature disciples of Christ.

In our student ministry, I have a kid named Jake.  Jake is a fellow warrior for Christ.  He hangs out with me from time to time away from church, texts me nonstop, and often blows my phone up.  Jake and I have a saying — we are creating warriors.  In fact, I let Jake preach the other night to over 100 people at our Wednesday Night Doxa service.  Did I mention he is in 8th grade?

I wake up early on Tuesdays and meet with a guy that is a few years older than me.  I HATE WAKING UP EARLY.  His name is Brian.  In fact, Brian is about 12 years older than me.  He asked me about a month ago if I would disciple him.  He started, “I know you’re really busy, but…” I stopped him right there, and I said to him, “Absolutely, I will.”  Because that’s what it’s all about.  Creating Warrior Men!

I met with a guy yesterday morning early as well.  DID I MENTION I HATE WAKING UP EARLY?  He is a Warrior Man for Christ.  He has shown faithfulness and diligence.  He has a great attitude and carries himself with optimism.  He has been in ministry for several years, and has much more experience than me; however, he is teachable.  We are passing off ministry to him.  Warrior!

My desire is to create Warrior Men who love Jesus, his church, the family, and missions.  I want to see young guys in our student ministry become Warrior Men who are called to ministry.  I want to see college students do the same.  I want to see men with families and current careers get excited about Jesus and called to ministry.

And it is happening.

Mostly in the early mornings… which I hate… but seeing men become Warriors for Jesus… now, that I love.

Follow Greg on Twitter for more: @gregrgibson

A friend sent me an article that was posted on CNN’s Religion Blog about, yet again, the rise in “Christians” having premarital sex. Surprise! Surprise! The author raises the question about the seemingly common late 20-something or 30-something Christian who is single and EXPECTED to stay pure. The ridiculousness of this claim baffles me to no end. Also, quite likely, it is not uncommon to meet a Christian dating couple that has been together for several years. What’s more, just a quick look through your Facebook “friends” will reveal several former committed Christians who live with their boyfriends, girlfriends, or parents, having never prepared for the pursuit of biblical manhood or womanhood, yet living in a fantasy world that they have, somehow, by age only, escaped the frightening years of adolescence–when we all know that in maturity, decision-making, and their practice of non-intenional dating, they still reflect the kids they once were as sophomores in high school.

In a recent article in Relevant magazine, this same question is brought to the forefront. Scott McKnight, the author of a few good books, has some equally good things to say about this concept.

He tells Relevant:

Sociologically speaking, the one big difference – and it’s monstrous – between the biblical teaching and our culture is the arranged marriages of very young people. If you get married when you’re 13, you don’t have 15 years of temptation.

John Blake, the author of the CNN article with equivalent title as above, states this,

So what should a Christian parent or youth pastor do? How do they convince more young Christians to wait until marriage, or should they stop even trying?

What should a Christian parent or youth pastor do?  How do we convince more young Christians to wait until marriage?  Should we stop even trying?  Are you kidding me!  No!  No!  No!  No!  And No!  As horrible as those questions are though, many parents I’m sure are continuing to ask this question all over the world.  Even more non-auspicious, many youth pastors are asking these questions as well.  Let me try my best at answering them… again. [...]

The women cook, clean, and take care of the babies.  Meanwhile, the men work, sweat, and drink beer.  Right?  Well, not anymore.  Or is it?

This view of gender identity has plagued our culture for some time now.  What’s more, the aforementioned view of gender roles is usually looked down upon by the liberal left.  To be a stay at home mom, house wife, and the one who primarily cares for her children is something that is seen as being traditionally conservative… and sometimes… very weak.  I’m not saying that those who don’t stay at home with their children are liberal; I am saying, however, that this type of anti-stereotype is usually harped upon by the left.  This is absolutely a generalization — I am aware of that.  I don’t think I’m wrong though.

Turn on the television to any sitcom and men are seen as stupid, lazy, and sex-crazed.  The women are the smart ones.  The women are the providers.  The women are the ones that have it all together.  The men are, well, complete morons.

In a world with much gender confusion, both men and women seem to be running from their God-ordained roles.  Men are called by God to be leaders, providers, and protectors inside the family unit.  Women are called by God to be helpers and nurturers.  In a world outside of Eden, women are running to show themselves suitable for roles given by God to the man, and vice-versa for that matter.

It is more important than ever that we teach proper gender roles to our children.  Being a helper and nurturer, though, does not have to mean that you are the one that cooks, cleans, and stays at home with the baby.  Women can work.  Women should work.  Women should strive to be CEO’s and CFO’s, engineers and medical doctors, accountants and teachers.  In doing so, however, the God-given role should not be marred.

If a woman can do both then I say, “God speed!”

What’s wrong with a woman cooking, cleaning, and caring for a baby?  What’s wrong with a man working hard to provide for his family?  When we stereotype something, though, it becomes something of an enigma that people want to run from.  ”Oh no!  If I’m to be seen as successful at all, then I shalt not ever be seen as cook, house cleaner, and care-giver.  Oh my!  That would be just awful!”

May we continue to pursue what God has called us to.  May we, as men, continue to pursue being leaders, providers, and protectors.  And may we, as women, continue to pursue being helpers, nurturers, and care-givers.  And if that means we find ourselves cooking and cleaning or we find ourselves being the primary providers, may we praise God, the creator of both men and women, and model our roles for our children well.

I read a story the other day about a man who didn’t have a job, who didn’t provide for his family, and who didn’t cherish and serve his wife.  This man viewed women as objects and he probably was addicted to pornography.  He lied.  He cheated.  He was a hypocrite.  While at home, he sat in front of the television, not helping, not serving.  While at home, he was distant.  While away from home, he was distant.  When it came to his family — distance.

This man was not a warrior husband.

——————————-

On the contrary…

In a recent article in the New York Post, the wife of Navy Seal Aaron Vaughn — who was killed in Afghanistan on Saturday — was recorded as referring to her husband as a WARRIOR who loved his family and his country.

I don’t know what kind of man Aaron Vaughn was at home or in his personal life.  I do know, however, what his wife thought about him.  His wife called him a WARRIOR – a warrior who loved his family and his country.

What a statement!

What an amazing description of what every husband should strive to hear from his wife.  ”My husband, yes, he is a warrior.”

Ephesians 5 describes a man who loves his wife like Christ loves the church.  He serves her.  He loves her.  He cherishes her.  In short, he fights for her.  In everything he does, he puts himself last.  He repents when he fails.  He gets up when he falls.  This man carries himself in a way that is different than most.

It is not a way that is above others.  No, in fact, it is lower — he is a servant.

Like Jesus, he is a servant.  And like Jesus, he is a warrior.

His bride looks at him — like the church looks at Christ– and no matter the outcome of his life, no matter the times he fails, no matter his current occupation, and no matter the money he makes, and she says to him, “My husband, yes, you are a WARRIOR.”

This man is a WARRIOR husband.  I pray I am this man.

Are single men disqualified from the pastorate? Does the phrase “husband of one wife” in 1 Timothy 3:2 require pastors to be married? Are single pastors at a disadvantage when it comes to practical matters of ministry? Some interpreters answer each of these questions in the affirmative. Others reject this conclusion as unbiblical. I side with those of the latter persuasion and seek to provide reasons why in this article.

Practical Advantages of Single Pastors

Single pastors are not only qualified for pastoral ministry but are in some ways better suited for it than pastors who are married. Steve DeWitt, in his article “That’s Odd: On Bias Against Single Pastors,” points out that married pastors are commonly thought to be better suited for the pastoral ministry, since they have a wife (and perhaps a family) and are thus able to relate to their congregations as married people. Certainly, married pastors have first hand experience when it comes to marriage and parenting, but it should not be concluded that single pastors are unqualified to talk about marriage, raising children, or sex. They certainly cannot speak from firsthand experience in these areas, but they can speak authoritatively, practically, and helpfully if they speak about these matters from the authority of Scripture. If this notion is denied, then the sufficiency of Scripture is also denied. Moreover, single pastors can share what they have learned from reading secondary literature. Of course, they can also impart to their congregations what they have gained from observing the lives of those who are doing marriage and parenting well. [...]

Jobs are hard to come by these days. It’s a tough market out there. Our struggling economy has pushed the unemployment rate well into the double digits. In Grass Valley, CA where I live, numerous businesses aren’t even handing out applications. One drug store reported holding 1,000 existing ones! It’s understandable to see why many guys sit at home with dim prospects for contributing in the work force.

Being enrolled full-time at seminary makes for a tricky job situation. I worked part-time writing religious articles for a local newspaper and doing odd-jobs on the side when I had time. It helped to have a decent amount of money saved from my Spartan lifestyle in the Suriname jungle. When the semester ended in mid-May however, it was imperative that I make money during the three months preceding the fall term. But what do you do when places like Rite Aid won’t even take your application and the newspaper job is pumping out only $100 a month? You find a way. [...]

I’d been working out of town for five weeks when I returned home last weekend. My car was caked with mud from driving over a snowy Lake Tahoe pass slushed with sand. My left turn signal had somehow gone out. The windshield wiper fluid was long gone.

Without a word, my dad commandeered my Taurus. I slept in; he figured out how to fix the light, hand-washed my car inside and out, and bought the windshield wiper fluid from the auto shop. He even pulled out a bunch of mail I’d missed during my time away, sat me down at the kitchen table, and tried to set me up with a 401k for retirement.

A quote from this much-talked about Wall Street Journal article came to mind:

“[Young men today] are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home.” [...]

Chivalry is a word that has lost its luster lately.  For the sake of definition, it means courteous behavior or qualities expected of a leader toward the weak.  The placement of this word is most often found within the context of knights who ride nobly into battle, protecting the innocent, and putting their lives in the way of danger for a great and gallant cause.  Another working definition of this word can be pointed towards a man’s behavior toward women.

Peter speaks about this in 1 Peter 3:7, saying, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (ESV).

The foundation of biblical manhood is how we treat women, and more specifically, in how we treat our own wives.  Peter exhorts us to live with our wives in an understanding way showing honor to them.  This means that we should focus our marriages around what is Christ-exalting for our wives. Our focus should not be on the annoying quirks or the small things that irritate us, but on giving and showing honor to her.  What is more, Peter tells us we should do this because they are the weaker vessel.  This ‘weaker vessel’ concept does not suggest women are of any lesser value than men, but it simply points to how a man should relate to a woman.  We should never use our superior strength for harm.  It should always be used as a form of protection.   [...]

You can read Part 1 HERE.

There is a fine line that we must walk when concerning ourselves with political correctness today. The ‘lets all just get along’ culture finds its foundation in tolerance and co-exist bumper stickers (speaking of bumper stickers, check out our Veritas Adopt bumper stickers HERE). This tolerance movement is finding its way from our newspapers, magazines, and television shows into the sub-culture of our homes and, more specifically, into our churches. Instead of taking part in creating culture, our churches are falling victim to the culture. This is bleeding into every part of who we are, and as I have argued, into how we are training up the next generation of men. In part 1 of this 2 part series, I have discussed more specifically how we are helping create a culture of boys who can shave.  I am coining this type of man as a wimpy man, and have stated that our church is helping create wimpy men by:

• Shying away from confrontation.
• Not talking about hard things to our youth.
• Cultivating hyper-emotional atmospheres for our youth.
• Not teaching the importance of biblical manhood to our boys.
• Not teaching the importance of commitment.

I want to preface the tone of this article by pointing to the fact that I am not trying to be overly pessimistic here.  I want to be encouraging, helpful, and supportive, but I also want to be challenging, thought provoking, and convicting.  The current environment of the church finds itself in need of reform (see Tyler’s article on missional vs. program driven churches or my article on why young people hate the church).  Again, without trying to sound like we are bashing the church, because we are not, I want to elaborate on the points above on why I think we are creating wimpy men.  We at TVN love the local church and want to champion the church in everything we do.   We want to see it progress, through the means of preaching the gospel, to the ends of the earth.  We want to take part in God’s mission, as he is using the church to accomplish it.  That is why each of our writers serves in the local church in one capacity or another.  And that is why I have chosen to write this article series.  Here are a few reasons, I believe, that the church is in need of reform as we are continuing to create a culture of wimpy men. [...]

Yes.  25 year old boys who can shave.  You read it right.  They are taking over the world.  Ah man, we need another world.

What is the difference between a 16 year old that lives at home with his parents, plays Xbox 360 all day, doesn’t have a job, dates around without any form of commitment, and has little or no responsibility outside of which fast food joint he wants to take his date for dinner and a 25 year old that bunks with dudes, pays $100 in rent a month, works part-time, and doesn’t shower very often?

You’re exactly right; the answer:  age.

I know what you’re thinking.  The aforementioned descriptions might be a little extreme and probably not ‘completely’ accurate in most cases, but the picture painted here should be pretty clear.

Adolescence is often seen as the stages between puberty and legal adulthood.  In our culture, this would be about 18 years old.  When a young man turns 18 he can buy tobacco, vote, and purchase rated R movie tickets.  Pretty sweet huh?  Yep.  Well, it seems that way.  [See these articles on 35 going on 13 (Gay & Lesbian Maturity Levels), Driscoll on calling men to grow up, and all the different articles on this from Focus on the Family].

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