I worked many odd jobs throughout college, but one of my favorites was working as a babysitter. I have always loved little ones. They are so eager to make new friends, have grand adventures, and discover more of life. I was always delighted to escape being buried in text books and homework to run around outside playing tag and hide-and-go-seek. God has used my job as a babysitter to teach me many things, but one lesson in particular stands out.

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By Grace Gibson / Grace is the wife of Greg Gibson, and they have one daughter, Cora.  She is a proud stay at home mama and loves all things fun and coffee.

My life is rather wonderful right now.  When I contemplated writing about my life, a thought immediately popped into my head.  “I’m not experienced enough to write on this topic.  People will just assume I believe my life is wonderful because I only have one baby.  And they often have said, “Wait until I have two, or three, or four, or ten, then maybe I can give my opinion.”

I had to cast away that thought quickly, choosing not to give heed to the person who would discredit my happiness.  You know the person I am talking about.  This person sees you young and in love, and says, “Just wait until after the honeymoon, then you will see what life is really like.”

You know these types of people, don’t you?  They wish away your happiness.

This happened to me a few times, so with a little fear, I waited until after my honeymoon and oddly enough found that I was still happy—really happy.

This person said, “Wait until your first year of marriage, then you will see what life is really like.”  Again, wishing away my happiness.  So with a bit of fear, I waited for my first year of marriage and found after it was over that I was actually still happy—really happy.

This person saw my happiness with a bit of disgust, and they said, “You are still in the honeymoon phase, and wait until you have kids, then you will see what life is really like.”  And once again, wishing away my happiness.  So with a bit of fear I waited for the birth of my first and found that after she arrived I was happy—really happy.

This person then said, “Wait until you have two little ones, then you will see what life is really like.”  And once again, wishing away my happiness.  However, now I do not anticipate that next phase in life with fear.

After experiencing these different phases, I have come to realize that my happiness is not contingent on my circumstances or the phase of life that I am in.

I am happy while single.

I am happy while married.

I am happy with one kid.

I am happy with ten kids.

I am happy because my happiness is rooted in Christ Jesus.

“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you.  Now remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (John 15:9-12).

I am happy because I remain in his love and his joy has made mine complete, which is indicated in the phrase “lacking in nothing.”  I have entitled this post “The Pessimistic Pansy” for two reasons.  First of all, this person whom I am describing is pessimistic.  They have a negative outlook on life, not finding their joy in Christ, and therefore not being complete in him.   And secondly, this person is a pansy— meaning weak or fearful.  Their happiness is rooted in their circumstances, so they fear each new phase, and resent those who are genuinely happy.

I choose to be confident that I will be happy no matter my circumstance, because my happiness is rooted in my salvation in Christ.

I remain in Him and He alone sustains me and offers grace for each new season of life.  So, without fear, I say, bring on the babies!

Follow Greg on Twitter for more: @gregrgibson

A friend sent me an article that was posted on CNN’s Religion Blog about, yet again, the rise in “Christians” having premarital sex. Surprise! Surprise! The author raises the question about the seemingly common late 20-something or 30-something Christian who is single and EXPECTED to stay pure. The ridiculousness of this claim baffles me to no end. Also, quite likely, it is not uncommon to meet a Christian dating couple that has been together for several years. What’s more, just a quick look through your Facebook “friends” will reveal several former committed Christians who live with their boyfriends, girlfriends, or parents, having never prepared for the pursuit of biblical manhood or womanhood, yet living in a fantasy world that they have, somehow, by age only, escaped the frightening years of adolescence–when we all know that in maturity, decision-making, and their practice of non-intenional dating, they still reflect the kids they once were as sophomores in high school.

In a recent article in Relevant magazine, this same question is brought to the forefront. Scott McKnight, the author of a few good books, has some equally good things to say about this concept.

He tells Relevant:

Sociologically speaking, the one big difference – and it’s monstrous – between the biblical teaching and our culture is the arranged marriages of very young people. If you get married when you’re 13, you don’t have 15 years of temptation.

John Blake, the author of the CNN article with equivalent title as above, states this,

So what should a Christian parent or youth pastor do? How do they convince more young Christians to wait until marriage, or should they stop even trying?

What should a Christian parent or youth pastor do?  How do we convince more young Christians to wait until marriage?  Should we stop even trying?  Are you kidding me!  No!  No!  No!  No!  And No!  As horrible as those questions are though, many parents I’m sure are continuing to ask this question all over the world.  Even more non-auspicious, many youth pastors are asking these questions as well.  Let me try my best at answering them… again. [...]

The women cook, clean, and take care of the babies.  Meanwhile, the men work, sweat, and drink beer.  Right?  Well, not anymore.  Or is it?

This view of gender identity has plagued our culture for some time now.  What’s more, the aforementioned view of gender roles is usually looked down upon by the liberal left.  To be a stay at home mom, house wife, and the one who primarily cares for her children is something that is seen as being traditionally conservative… and sometimes… very weak.  I’m not saying that those who don’t stay at home with their children are liberal; I am saying, however, that this type of anti-stereotype is usually harped upon by the left.  This is absolutely a generalization — I am aware of that.  I don’t think I’m wrong though.

Turn on the television to any sitcom and men are seen as stupid, lazy, and sex-crazed.  The women are the smart ones.  The women are the providers.  The women are the ones that have it all together.  The men are, well, complete morons.

In a world with much gender confusion, both men and women seem to be running from their God-ordained roles.  Men are called by God to be leaders, providers, and protectors inside the family unit.  Women are called by God to be helpers and nurturers.  In a world outside of Eden, women are running to show themselves suitable for roles given by God to the man, and vice-versa for that matter.

It is more important than ever that we teach proper gender roles to our children.  Being a helper and nurturer, though, does not have to mean that you are the one that cooks, cleans, and stays at home with the baby.  Women can work.  Women should work.  Women should strive to be CEO’s and CFO’s, engineers and medical doctors, accountants and teachers.  In doing so, however, the God-given role should not be marred.

If a woman can do both then I say, “God speed!”

What’s wrong with a woman cooking, cleaning, and caring for a baby?  What’s wrong with a man working hard to provide for his family?  When we stereotype something, though, it becomes something of an enigma that people want to run from.  ”Oh no!  If I’m to be seen as successful at all, then I shalt not ever be seen as cook, house cleaner, and care-giver.  Oh my!  That would be just awful!”

May we continue to pursue what God has called us to.  May we, as men, continue to pursue being leaders, providers, and protectors.  And may we, as women, continue to pursue being helpers, nurturers, and care-givers.  And if that means we find ourselves cooking and cleaning or we find ourselves being the primary providers, may we praise God, the creator of both men and women, and model our roles for our children well.

My mom was the first in her family to go to college. Her dad was a high school dropout; her mom only had a third grade education and spoke English as a second language. So it was a big deal when she walked across the platform and picked up her diploma, graduating fourth in her university’s class of 1,200.

She got her credential and worked as a schoolteacher for a few years, until she found that it cost more to work full-time and pay for day care than it did to stay home with her three children. She quit the job in 1989, and she hasn’t gone back full-time since.  In the world of four loads of laundry a day and Play-Doh squished on the floor and baby talk, I’m sure all that classic English literature seemed so irrelevant.

The question many young women face is whether to pursue college if your heart is set on being a wife and a stay-at-home mom.

Many adults will tell you to pursue college because a degree is essential in today’s job market; you’ll earn more with a degree, and you’ll have security until you find a husband or if your husband loses his job.

But my experience is that, for better or for worse, having a college degree and having a job are two entirely different things. [...]

I’d been working out of town for five weeks when I returned home last weekend. My car was caked with mud from driving over a snowy Lake Tahoe pass slushed with sand. My left turn signal had somehow gone out. The windshield wiper fluid was long gone.

Without a word, my dad commandeered my Taurus. I slept in; he figured out how to fix the light, hand-washed my car inside and out, and bought the windshield wiper fluid from the auto shop. He even pulled out a bunch of mail I’d missed during my time away, sat me down at the kitchen table, and tried to set me up with a 401k for retirement.

A quote from this much-talked about Wall Street Journal article came to mind:

“[Young men today] are more like the kids we babysat than the dads who drove us home.” [...]

By Grace Gibson, Read her other posts HERE.

With so much at stake these days I see more and more commercials that have to deal with protection from identity theft.  I have experienced identity theft more than once and much more was at stake than my social security number and bank account.  And the major problem was that the person stealing my identity was me.

A few years ago I cleaned houses with my best friend.  While we scrubbed down other people’s bathrooms and took out their trash, we often talked about what we really want to do with our lives.  I mean, we were college graduates with big fancy degrees and we were cleaning houses for a living.  I did not really mind cleaning houses, but I did tend to have a problem when people asked me the “all so regularly” asked and dreaded question…. “So, what do you do?”  What do I do?  Well, I clean houses.  But I always wanted to follow that answer with… “But I have a degree, and I would like to change the world, and I think I am going back to school, and don’t judge me because my job is a house cleaner.”  What was the problem here?  The problem was that I was using a false identity.  I was placing my identity in what I did for a living and not in something far more valuable. [...]

It’s that time of year again when gobs and gobs of money are spent appeasing and pacifying the wants and wishes of small children (and 40-something-year-old kids) across the globe. On December the 25^th millions of men, women, boys, and girls throughout the world will receive their yearly injection of that oh-so intoxicating drug called materialism. While I’m all for giving gifts—and receiving them—I would like for us to at least give thought to the sorts of gifts that we are giving to our loved ones this year. [...]

The Los Angeles Times recently reported that after Tangled, an animated retelling of the Rapunzel fairy tale, Disney is done with princess movies for the forseeable future. It’s a marketing move: The guys out there could probably corroborate Disney’s finding that princess movies don’t appeal much to boys. But the other surprising finding was that princess movies don’t appeal much to girls. [...]

The most recent TIME cover poses the question, “Who Needs Marriage?”  If you keep up with my column at all then you know much of my writing and energy is placed around thinking through this issue with our generation.  With this being such a big issue, I knew I had to write something on this piece through lens of our generation.  You can read my positions on marriage HERE and HERE, and why you are at it you can read our views of cohabitation outside of marriage HERE and HERE.  Al Mohler, one of our heroes, has also written a sagacious article on this topic HERE.

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