Tonight I had a few of our student ministry leaders over to celebrate what God has done with and through them in our student ministry this semester.  Some of them lead small groups.  Others are leaders at our Wednesday night service.  All of them lead in separate ways depending upon their schedules and passions, but every single one of them are volunteers.  In fact, all 15 or so of them could call me tomorrow and tell me they weren’t coming back and I would be stuck.  Our ministry would crumble.  Small groups would stop.  And several discipleship relationships between leaders and adults would cease.  They are, in the truest sense of the phrase, the backbone of our ministry.  With that said, and because leading volunteers is so extremely crucial to the success of local church ministry, here a few ways to make them a priority.

1.   Allocate a percentage of your budget for equipping and celebrating volunteers.  Have leadership meetings, buy them books, and have fun parties where you buy good food and give them fun stuff.

2.  Be consistent in contacting them.  Send them emails and text messages, and let them know you are praying for them often.

3.  Challenge them to growth.  Send them articles to read, books to read, and give them opportunities to do ministry.  Raise up leaders to lead.  After all, leaders will always lead.  Leaders lead leaders.  As they are ready, pass off ministry to those whom have earned it.

4.  Celebrate their time, energy, commitment, and investment.  Throw celebrations and have specific times set apart where you do not talk about ministry related things.  Instead, have fun.

Nobody ever likes conflict.  If you do, then there is literally something wrong with you.  Conflict is one of those things we could do without in our lives.  When I wake up in the morning, I can promise you that I am not looking for conflict with my wife and family.  When I get in the car and head off to the church, I can promise you that I am not looking for conflict with my co-workers and fellow laborers in the harvest.  When I lead ministries, develop teams, disciple people, and preach the gospel, I can promise you that I am not looking for conflict.  Yes, we are never looking for conflict, but it always seems to be looming.  And get this, if you are leading well, then you will probably find yourself within it often.

That last statement might be a little vague to some.  The leadership concept though is this, and it is simple:  Often times in leadership we have to make hard decisions.  It really is that simple.  And when we make those hard decisions they often are conflict centered or will bring conflict to you soon enough.

Think about these things that would create conflict:

• Creating change in something that has been established for years.
• Going against the status quo.
• Letting someone go or having to fire them.
• Attacking drama with a no-tolerance policy.
• Attacking gossip with a no-tolerance policy.
• Leading people older than you.
• Leading people who were once your peers.
• Telling someone, “No.”
• Discipleship.
• Preaching the gospel.
• Talking about sin.

There are obviously several more things that I could add to this list.  The concept remains though — the things above will lead you into making hard decisions.  And often times you will have to make those decisions in the now.

Jesus was a leader in the now.

In Matthew 21:12-17, we read of Jesus going into a compromised and tainted house of worship and overturning tables, throwing chairs, and raising his voice.  He saw that a house of worship was being used for evil and not good.  He saw things being sold for profit and other unlawful things happening there.  Righteously and rightly, Jesus made a decision that was not very popular.  He went into the temple with fury and anger.  And conflict found him once again.

In Matthew 26:17-25, we read again of Jesus making a decision in the now.  During the passover meal and in front of all of his disciples, Jesus revealed that Judas Iscariot had already betrayed him.  It was not swept under the rug as if Jesus knew but he was going to endure the cross silently always.  No.  He brought forth Judas’ sin and betrayal in front of everyone.  It happened in the now.  And conflict found him once again.

Jesus was the most controversial person to have ever lived.  In fact, he is the most controversial person in all of history.  Hundreds of thousands of books have been written about him.  Wars (however unjust) have been fought in his name.  Calendars have been developed around his birth.  People continue to lose their lives for him daily.  And his message is that he is the only way to the Father – the way, the truth, and the life.  

Jesus made hard decisions all the time for the benefit of his mission.  Yes, he was fully God, but he was also fully man.  Let us be like him in our leadership.

Let us be humble.  Bold.  Courageous.  Anti-normal.  Righteousness seeking.  Focused.  Disciplined.  Authentic.

As we follow his model of making hard decisions in the now — discipleship, no-tolerance policy on sin, creating change in the world, letting a person go, and most importantly, preaching the gospel — let us make them with confidence, courage, and stability.

Because he did.

Last night at Foothills Church, we had our first student event of the year — The Summit.

The Summit is designed specifically for our upcoming 9th graders — and this time it was just for guys.  This is a leadership event (level 4/5 if you know David Adam’s 5 Levels of Programming) where we talk about biblical manhood, discuss purity, and talk about what I expect from them over the next 4 years as the leaders of our student ministry.  Last night, specifically, we talked about servant leadership, drank a gazillion IBC Root Beers, and I gave them each a belt to signify the importance of purity and the challenge of keeping their pants on as they go throughout high school.

We had 12 guys there last night. Not bad for a student ministry that started a little over a year ago.  Remember, this specific event is for 9th graders only.

We started off playing the game ZOOM.  It’s a great little leadership game.  The object of the game is for the group to put a story together in 30 minutes.  Each person has a card in his hand telling part of the story.  They cannot show the card.  They can only describe it, act it out, etc.  Within the 30 minute timeline, they must put the story together from beginning to end the best they can.  After the game is over, you sit your group down and debrief their personalities, who emerged as the leader of the group, who influenced the group the most negatively, who got lost in the shuffle (and why) — all those types of things.  It’s a blast and it tells you a ton about the leadership qualities of the people in your group.

You can find the game HERE.

Secondly, when we debriefed the game, we described the characteristics of the main leader that emerged from the game.

Here is what my guys came up with for the leader who emerged:

After we finished debriefing the game, we went directly into what they thought a leader looked like within our student ministry.  Here is what they also came up with — complete with the top four they thought a leader in our student ministry should look like.  And by the way, B.M.B / L.P.P stands for biblical manhood Boaz (Leader, Provider, Protector).

Next week, we are talking about courage, shooting some guns, and talking more about my expectations for them as leaders in our student ministry.

Should be a blast!

Nobody likes criticism.  Nobody likes constructive criticism.

I mean, I don’t know anyone who likes for people to tell them how bad of a job they are doing — or how they can improve in the job they are doing.  And NOBODY really likes to get criticism when it concerns a reflection of their personal character. We live in such a politically correct and let’s-not-hurt-anyone’s-feelings-unless-we-really-have-to-culture, that the art of giving and receiving criticism is something that has been lost in our day.

We give it poorly.  And, oh, do we receive it poorly, as well!

Over the past 25 years of my life, I have been given criticism hundreds of times.  Coupled with playing basketball from the time I could dribble to the time I graduated college and being around some fantastic leaders, has all allowed me to dive into what working on a team really is all about — working together for the good of a common goal.  Not only that, but it has allowed me several opportunities to experience conflict, tensions, and the receiving and giving of criticism.  Mostly constructive — but at times personal.

From my experience of giving criticism, receiving criticism, and watching criticism be given, I want to give you, what I think, are some good guidelines for giving criticism.

Let’s start with the 5 ways not to give criticism:

1.  Do not give criticism to someone when emotions are high.

2.  Do not give criticism out of a critical spirit.  Really dig deep into why you are giving it.

3.  Do not give criticism to someone you do not have a rapport or relationship with.  You might get jacked.

4.  Think very carefully about giving criticism to the person that signs your paychecks.  If you cannot work for that person then you might need to think about finding another job.

5.  Do not give criticism in public, group settings, or in front of other people.

What are 5 ways to effectively give criticism?

1.  Pray through it.  Pray about whether the constructive criticism you are about to give is beneficial for the growth of the person receiving it, the growth of the organization, and the growth of the team.

2.  Give it in person.  Never give it via email, text message, or other lame social media medium (Matthew 18).

3.  Always ask the person whom you are about to give criticism to if you can give it to them.  It always better received if you ask the person first.  For instance, you can say something such as, “Greg, I was wondering if I could make an observation in your life…”

4.  Give it with a gentle spirit  But give it boldly.

5.  Say what you need to say and then move on.  Don’t keep saying it.  Don’t keep bringing it up unless you have permission to.  If nothing changes, again, responsibly move on.

Last Wednesday morning around 4:30 AM, I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock in Orange Beach, AL.  It was way too early for me to even think about being nice to anyone.  I was exhausted, as it was the last day of our Student Life Beach Camp and I had to catch a plane in Pensacola, FL that same morning.  So my wife and I jumped into a big 15 passenger van and we headed to the airport where I then jumped on a plane, coupled by a few more planes, and eventually I found myself in Spokane, WA for the next 10 days.

Our pastoral team from Foothills Church took this journey together to attend a church planting and team building boot camp.  What’s more, we took this journey together more for the latter goal of team building than the former of being a good church planter (I guess they kind of over lap though).  And that is exactly what happened.  As the week progressed, so did the intense team building activities.  So did the very intentional, conflict-solving, Jesus-centered conversations that hadn’t been brought to the table but had festered to where the avoidance of tension and conflict had built white elephants amongst our team for the last year or so.  And so did even more extremely hard, albeit necessary conversations for the benefit of pushing us closer to Jesus personally and as a team.

What happened amongst our team this week, in all honesty, does not happen much amongst God’s people — openness, honesty, vulnerability, and the solving of conflict — instead most conflict or tension gets pushed under rugs and hearts turn bitter.  In Mark 12:31, Jesus tells us to, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  How many of us truly do this?  How many of us truly love our neighbor enough to have the hard conversations with them?  To be vulnerable about sin with them?  To not judge them and kick them out of their leadership positions when they do sin and find themselves in failure?  How many of us are vulnerable ourselves?  Do we walk around with masks being someone that we are not?

Better yet, how many of you truly love yourself?  I’m not talking about pride or egos or me-centered living, however, there are deeper issues often attached to those sins than just loving yourself (insecurities, lack of identity, daddy issues, etc).   We often attach the emphasis of this verse on the neighbor part, yet what happens when we place the emphasis on the ‘love yourself’ part?

Maybe you should start there.  Do you love yourself?  Do you love yourself enough to be vulnerable with other believers?  Are you hiding who you truly are for the sake of not opening up because your afraid of what everybody else might think about you?

Whatever the case may be, I encourage you to measure the walls that have been built around your heart.  If you are not part of a team that pushes you to be more like Jesus by helping you take those walls down one-by-one, then I encourage you to find a group of folks, or a church, or a small group that will.  Our team had to fly to Spokane, WA to do this.  You can do this with the Bible on your lap, the Holy Spirit in your heart, a good cup of coffee in your hand, and a brother or sister in Christ across the table whom you trust.

Are leaders born or made?  Surely, both.  On the one hand, leadership is an “elusive and electric quality” that comes directly from God.  On the other, leadership skills are distributed widely among every community, and should be cultivated and developed.  Often our skills lie dormant until a crisis arises.

Some people become leaders by opportunity and training.  A crisis comes, no one better qualified steps forward, and a leader is born.  But coser investigation usually reveals that the selection was less fortuitous and more the result of hidden training that made the person fit for leadership.  Joseph is a perfect example (Gen 37-45).  He became prime ministry of Egypt through circumstances that most people would call “lucky stars.”  In fact his promotion was the outcome of thirteen years of rigorous, hidden training under the hand of God.

When we contrast natural and spiritual leadership, we see just how different they are.

Natural Leadership:

• Self-confident
• Knows men
• Makes own decisions
• Ambitious
• Creates methods
• Enjoys command
• Seeks personal reward
• Independent

Spiritual Leadership:

• Confident in God
• Also knows God
• Seeks God’s will
• Humble
• Follows God’s example
• Delights in obedience to God
• Love God and others
• Depends on God

Chivalry is a word that has lost its luster lately.  For the sake of definition, it means courteous behavior or qualities expected of a leader toward the weak.  The placement of this word is most often found within the context of knights who ride nobly into battle, protecting the innocent, and putting their lives in the way of danger for a great and gallant cause.  Another working definition of this word can be pointed towards a man’s behavior toward women.

Peter speaks about this in 1 Peter 3:7, saying, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered” (ESV).

The foundation of biblical manhood is how we treat women, and more specifically, in how we treat our own wives.  Peter exhorts us to live with our wives in an understanding way showing honor to them.  This means that we should focus our marriages around what is Christ-exalting for our wives. Our focus should not be on the annoying quirks or the small things that irritate us, but on giving and showing honor to her.  What is more, Peter tells us we should do this because they are the weaker vessel.  This ‘weaker vessel’ concept does not suggest women are of any lesser value than men, but it simply points to how a man should relate to a woman.  We should never use our superior strength for harm.  It should always be used as a form of protection.   [...]

My wife and I recently moved to accept a position at her home church in Cincinnati. In the process, I just bought my first bookcase. It was so much fun. I am a booklover, and for the past five years of my transient college life, my books have been confined to little cardboard prisons. Now, those days have passed. My books have been liberated onto the shelves lining my office walls. In the process of this liberation movement I was shocked to discover a secret that only my bookcase could tell me: I am not a theologian. [...]

If you know me at all then you know that I am very fond of leadership.  My column, Crossing the Rubicon, has great leadership implications within its name; it is an idiom which refers to passing the point of no return.  In fact, this idiom is quite old.  It refers to Julius Caesar’s crossing of the river in 49 BC.  At the time, the crossing of this river was considered a monumental act of war.  I use this phrase in my daily life to refer to being able to make tough and risky decisions as a leader.  Whether it refers to making decisions for my family, for The Veritas Network, or decisions within my pastoral sphere of influence, every decision I make has some kind of risk factor to it.  As leaders, we must live with risk, and we must make risky decisions often.

Here are a few leadership lessons that I have learned this year:

[...]

This question is more of an enigma then anything.  Nonetheless, here are some good questions for young men that love both Jesus and women.

1.  Are you attracted to her?

This is a no brainer.

2.  Does she love Jesus?

This should be the first thing that makes or breaks a relationship.  The apostle Paul tells us that we are not to be unequally yoked in our (1 Cor 6:14).  Guys, if she loves Jesus and you are attracted to her then those seem like pretty good odds.  The gospel must be the center of every relationship.  It is the rock and foundation that every relationship must be built upon.  You must be a man who loves Jesus and shows it in your actions.  When you do this, girls who love Jesus will notice you.

3.  Are you like-minded?

I do believe there are more to relationships then the attractiveness and gospel-centeredness aspects, although they are the two biggest in my opinion.  As you begin a relationship there should always be an angle where you are learning the theology, goals, and aspirations of the other person.

4.  Are you ready for marriage?

It is no secret that my position on dating is a minority position.  For the Christian, dating should always be practiced in the shadow of marriage.  If you are not ready for marriage then you should not date.  The question now is, “How should I prepare myself for marriage?”

Read Question 1:  What is Biblical Manhood?

Visit Greg’s Column – Crossing the Rubicon