“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” –Proverbs 22:6 For Christian parents, this well-known verse can be both a source of comfort and frustration.

Moms and dads hope that their kids love and serve God with their whole heart, and it appears Proverbs has given us a prescription to carry this out: good parenting.

What does this parenting Proverbs mentions look like? Based on the whole of scripture, it involves godly role modeling, teaching from the Bible, attending church, discipline and other things.

Many parents do this and do it very well.

But the troubling reality is that some children – even when they have been raised this way — live in rebellion against God.

We know them. And we know their parents. I’ve seen the weary look of sorrow as a parent describes a son or daughter who has either rejected the gospel outright or is living a sinful lifestyle — one they were neither modeled nor taught.

Those parents ask themselves the perennial “Why?” The words of Proverbs 22:6, while giving comfort to parents of godly children, troubles parents of children gone astray.

Understanding Wisdom Literature

Is Proverbs 22:6 only true for some people and not for others? Have some not truly “trained up” their children in the Biblical model? And if there are so many exceptions to the apparent promise of the verse, why is it included in the Bible anyway?

A right understanding of Proverbs — and of wisdom literature as a whole — best answers the question to this verse.

The book of Proverbs is full of “truisms.” The verses are observations of wise people and are generally true in most cases, but they’re not the same as precepts, or universal promises.

For example, Proverbs 9:10-11 says, “The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you.”

If we take this as an absolute, it would appear anyone with wisdom and the fear of God will be guaranteed a long life.

As we know, this is not always the case. Just and righteous people occasionally get cancer, have heart attacks or get in car accidents and die young.

Another example is Proverbs 16:7: “When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.”

In actuality, the opposite is often true. Second Timothy 3:12 says, “Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”

Again, we’re seeing truisms; not absolutes.

We’ve got to understand Proverbs in the context of its genre – wisdom literature. It’s full of catchy, pithy statements that are easy to remember and reflect truths revealed through life. But while the charm of the proverbs is brevity, an isolated sentence can’t reflect all the nuances of the gospel and God’s mysterious ways. They must be taken in light of the whole of Scripture.

Why isn’t it always true?

So the question becomes: “Why do children of godly parents rebel – some of whom never return?”

So often, our assumptions about human nature, sin and salvation are not biblically based. The Bible makes other statements about human nature that add shades of gray to a black-and-white interpretation of Proverbs 22:6.

Scripture maintains man is born into sin. Humans are guilty in the first man, Adam. People are depraved. Their physical and spiritual aspects are tainted and twisted by sin.

If you’ve seen small children, even infants act selfishly apart from being taught or affected by outside influence, you must acknowledge something inherently wicked in us.

Scripture affirms this. See Romans 5:12, Romans 1, Psalms 14, Psalms 53, Psalms 51.

Good parenting can become a dangerous source of pride. Mothers and fathers subtly attribute their children’s good behavior or godliness to their own work.

This fits within secular humanism’s assumptions about humanity where learned behaviors determine the outcome of one’s conduct: Reform the system or give ample education and good people will result.

The Bible and experience, however, demonstrate quite the contrary.

People are by nature, objects of wrath. They run from God and do not seek to know him or love him. They are not just inclined to sin but are in fact, slaves to it (John 8:34).

Only by the gracious and loving intervention of Jesus Christ do people come to know God. Only in Christ, do we have the ability to obey his commands and receive forgiveness of sins. Without the Savior we never come to God.

But here is where we see the good news of the gospel. Jesus graciously changes the hearts of people that they would love him.

Why do people live in rebellion? The better question: Why is there anyone who doesn’t?

I often consider my own life as a pastor’s kid. I haven’t turned my back on God like many raised in a similar Christian household. I’m pursuing full-time Christian ministry.

My mom and dad were great parents. They still are. But I don’t think my life direction can be attributed simply to good parenting, discipline or even godly role modeling. Even being shown the terrible consequences of sin is not enough.

It’s God’s grace. Nothing less.

In the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15, we see a good father and a rebellious son. We can assume this father trained up his son in the way he should go. We also see that when his son asked for his inheritance (requesting for what should be given after death) the Father gave it to him and let the son go his way.

As we know, the son lived in rebellion for a time but came to repentance. And the Father, like God, forgave his child and welcomed him back.

Takeaway

So if we can’t trust Proverbs 22:6 to be true in 100 percent of cases, what good is it?

Parents should still take up this wise, godly counsel. Children raised in the way of the Lord are much more likely to trust Jesus as adults.

But we also need to understand that a sinner coming to the Lord is an act of God’s grace and not the fruit of any human merit – even excellent parenting. We should stand in humility as our lives and times are in God’s hands.

And for those struggling with the weighty burden of a wayward child? We see that prayer and love are powerful and effective.

I worked many odd jobs throughout college, but one of my favorites was working as a babysitter. I have always loved little ones. They are so eager to make new friends, have grand adventures, and discover more of life. I was always delighted to escape being buried in text books and homework to run around outside playing tag and hide-and-go-seek. God has used my job as a babysitter to teach me many things, but one lesson in particular stands out.

[...]

California Gov. Jerry Brown (D) signed a bill into law Wednesday that requires public schools to teach kids about the historical contributions of gays and lesbians. Local school districts will be adopting new social studies curriculum as early as the 2013-14 school year.

Supporters say it’s a triumph that makes history books “more honest” and will help curb bullying by making kids more understanding of their classmates.

Opponents equate it with brainwashing, saying it will sanction, normalize and exalt an immoral lifestyle.

So what’s a Christian parent to do? Is it time for a mass exodus toward home schooling?

I’d argue that it’s a time for parents to sit down and think hard about their children’s education — specifically, how they as parents are going to teach gay history.

Christians shouldn’t simply retreat from the topic of the gay rights movement, in the same way we shouldn’t retreat from sex education. While my parents didn’t pull me out of my 9th grade health, public school health class during lessons about birth control and STDs, they also made sure I got a much more comprehensive lesson on the issues from them and my church.

I remember annual True Love Waits all-nighters in the church gym. There were hours of frank — sometimes cringe-worthy — discussions about sex so we teenagers understood about this wonderful, God-given gift and the pitfalls of abusing it.

Combine it with regular Wednesday night youth group sermons on the topic, and it was almost to the point of overkill. But I began to recognize the church as an honest, open source of information on the scientific and biblical facts about sex. The church just covered the issue so much better than the awkward, one-hour lesson in my freshman health class, and I felt equipped to discuss my perspective on sex with people who felt differently about it.

Churches should look at this new California law as an opportunity to do one better. Rather than ignoring history, Christian parents should educate themselves about the key developments in the gay rights movement so we’re not blindly lashing out at a nebulous “cultural shift.” They should be prepared to take the lessons their children are learning, and parlay them into meaningful discussions about the biblical perspective on homosexuality.

Perhaps churches can teach gay history, in the same way churches host lectures about Mormonism or Jehovah’s Witnesses — so important developments aren’t missing.

But before that, parents should take an active role in how this curriculum takes shape. Local districts will be deciding over the next year or two which textbooks end up in classrooms. Parents should talk to teachers, school board members and administrators and take an active role in reviewing the curriculum. How will the lessons be framed? In which grade will they be introduced? What dates are the lessons taking place? All these are still open questions under the new law.

I think pulling kids out of public school should be a last resort, not a first resort. The first resort should be preparing kids who can respond to the mixed messages they’ll face for the rest of their life from peers and the media. Some parents might decide one or all of their children aren’t mature enough to sort out those mixed messages just yet; I respect their choice to keep their children in a private school or at home until that changes.

I hope Christians seize this new law as an opportunity to better understand and biblically, graciously respond to the cultural changes of the gay rights movement. I hope it doesn’t become a public school exodus, because Christian parents and students have something vital to add to this conversation. They have relationships to build within school communities; they have the Gospel to share with fellow moms, dads and classmates.

They have lights to shine.

It’s that time of year again when gobs and gobs of money are spent appeasing and pacifying the wants and wishes of small children (and 40-something-year-old kids) across the globe. On December the 25^th millions of men, women, boys, and girls throughout the world will receive their yearly injection of that oh-so intoxicating drug called materialism. While I’m all for giving gifts—and receiving them—I would like for us to at least give thought to the sorts of gifts that we are giving to our loved ones this year. [...]

The reality that this video brings to our attention is an alarming one. Shouldn’t it shake us up a bit to hear that two-thirds of the young people who attend church throughout high school are leaving once they move into college? I’d say so. This video maintains that the church has failed the next generation, claiming that the church is in a state of emergency. I probably wouldn’t go so far as to say that we are in a state of emergency—since God still sits on His throne and is still in complete control—but these statistics should bring pause to those of us who are leading churches and cause us to ask ourselves some questions. Are we failing the next generation? Why is it that the youth are falling away from the church when they leave their student ministries? [...]

I recently came across a few blogs that are all about raising your children with unbiased gender roles.  Written beneath a cultural and feminist worldview, these women audaciously claimed that boys should be able to wear dresses, paint their toe nails, and wear pink.  I was shocked!  They made the claim that girls are allowed to play sports, play outside and get dirty, and play with toys made for boys so why can’t boys play with dolls and where dresses?

This might sound a little crazy but this is actually a great question for Christian parents to think through.  

Let me start with a pretty embarrassing story that is so ridiculous that I am actually cringing my teeth as I’m typing.  

[...]