INTRODUCTION:

Over the past year or so, I have been plagued with this question–Is youth ministry killing the church?  This has bled from another important question that is being asked all over the world–Why are so many young people leaving the church after high school?

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A friend sent me an article that was posted on CNN’s Religion Blog about, yet again, the rise in “Christians” having premarital sex. Surprise! Surprise! The author raises the question about the seemingly common late 20-something or 30-something Christian who is single and EXPECTED to stay pure. The ridiculousness of this claim baffles me to no end. Also, quite likely, it is not uncommon to meet a Christian dating couple that has been together for several years. What’s more, just a quick look through your Facebook “friends” will reveal several former committed Christians who live with their boyfriends, girlfriends, or parents, having never prepared for the pursuit of biblical manhood or womanhood, yet living in a fantasy world that they have, somehow, by age only, escaped the frightening years of adolescence–when we all know that in maturity, decision-making, and their practice of non-intenional dating, they still reflect the kids they once were as sophomores in high school.

In a recent article in Relevant magazine, this same question is brought to the forefront. Scott McKnight, the author of a few good books, has some equally good things to say about this concept.

He tells Relevant:

Sociologically speaking, the one big difference – and it’s monstrous – between the biblical teaching and our culture is the arranged marriages of very young people. If you get married when you’re 13, you don’t have 15 years of temptation.

John Blake, the author of the CNN article with equivalent title as above, states this,

So what should a Christian parent or youth pastor do? How do they convince more young Christians to wait until marriage, or should they stop even trying?

What should a Christian parent or youth pastor do?  How do we convince more young Christians to wait until marriage?  Should we stop even trying?  Are you kidding me!  No!  No!  No!  No!  And No!  As horrible as those questions are though, many parents I’m sure are continuing to ask this question all over the world.  Even more non-auspicious, many youth pastors are asking these questions as well.  Let me try my best at answering them… again. [...]

Over the past couple of months, God has been teaching me several things about this up-and-coming generation.  Many of the things I am learning is simply having them — young people — as my teacher.  I am learning by talking with them.  I am learning by hanging out them.  I am learning by hearing their stories.  I am learning by watching what they do.  I am learning about their family backgrounds.  I am learning what it is they want to talk about, what they desire, and what types of questions they are asking.  Because of this, the pendulum swing in my philosophy of ministry has been tilting over to the relational side as of late.  And in all honesty, this is more of a let’s explore this idea together than for it to be a this is how it supposed to be type of post – RESOURCE: A helpful resource for finding classes that pertain to religion is Guide to Online Schools.

I have titled this post as Exploring the Relational Bandwagon because I want it to do just that — EXPLORE.   There is so much being said about relational evangelism and relational discipleship that many philosophies of ministry are changing to reflect this type of thinking.  I know mine has.  I definitely find myself leaning toward a relational and missional philosophy than a big program/event-driven and big evangelistic sermon type of philosophy.  The former reflects small groups in homes.  Authentic relational environments.  Using the word mission as adjective.  And probably wearing jeans on Sunday morning.  We use phrases like wanting to meet people where they are at and other phrases of the same nature.  The latter likes big programs, big events, big crowds, big heavy evangelistic sermons, alter calls, and probably Sunday School — that stuff.  I am not saying one is better than they other.  I am saying, however, that one definitely seems more effective than the other, especially as it relates to this generation.

In fact, the church I currently serve at as the Student Pastor and Missions Pastor heavily falls into the former category.  Our mission statement reflects this.  We desire to develop mature disciples of Christ in relational environments.  Obviously this type of mission statement champions relational evangelism and relational discipleship over the big events and programs, again, which I think is more effective for reaching this generation.  Why?  Because it is what they want.  It is what they crave.  It is how they operate.

I want to share two things that I think this generation is craving and one thing they don’t really want — with the purpose of exploring how we can best facilitate this as the church.  Remember, my purpose in this article isn’t to bash or be dogmatic.  If you think big programs and events are the way to go then I am happy to hear your reasons and I would love to learn from you as well.  But for the purpose of this article though, here are three thoughts I am currently having:

1.  This generation is craving real and authentic relationships.  

This concept, at first, seems to be mere common sense.  We know that young people desire to be in relational environments with other young people.  That is why ministries like Young Life here in East Tennessee are so big.  The weekday school experience is pretty much reduplicated into a Tuesday night hangout time with all of their friends.  As a student pastor, I constantly battling the non-profits who do well at recreating these weekday school types of relational environments.  There are 12+ schools that feed into my student ministry.  That means there are 12 FCAs, 12 Campaigners, and 12 Young Lifes that are taking our students time.  What’s more, that means there are 36+ ministries (not including other churches) outside of mine that are providing these relational environments as well.

HERE IS MY DILEMMA:  When it comes to a Wednesday night youth service, how are we creating a relational environment for them that is different from what they are getting at these 36+ ministries that they are getting throughout the week?  Are our Wednesday night programs merely functioning as programs?

HERE IS WHAT I AM LEARNING:  The Wednesday night experience for young people will only be a good experience if they have friends who already attend.  I could bring in David Platt or Mark Driscoll to preach the best sermon East Tennessee has ever heard but if that kid doesn’t have friends who already attend than they probably will not enjoy their time and they probably will not want to come back.

2.  This generation does not want to be around their parents.  

Yes, I am firm believer in family driven and family equipping philosophies of ministry.  I lean more toward a family equipping type of model myself; however, I am learning that no matter how you try to facilitate this, young people just don’t want to be around their parents in those types of environments.  Again, that is why these types of ministries — Young Life, FCA, Campaigners, YOKE, etc. — are all booming.  Now we can always ask how effective they are being once the students are actually there, however, we have to be honest with ourselves as well — they are doing a great job of providing these relational environments that kids want to be in.

HERE IS MY DILEMMA:  How do we couple relational environments that young people are craving and want to be a part of with intentional family equipping philosophies?  Are our philosophies of ministry actually driving students away?

HERE IS WHAT I AM LEARNING:  I am learning that you can equip the family without the student having to be a part of those family-equipping environments.  Think about it this way — you can be family driven or family equipping without having to take away relational environments for students.  You can have Wednesday night services, small groups in homes, camps and retreats, etc., all while equipping the family.

3.  This generation really wants to take part in loving their neighbor.

I am learning more and more everyday that this generation wants to be a part of change.  They want to make a difference in the world.  They want to be a part of something bigger than themselves.  In the analogy of the body of Christ, they want to be the hands and feet.  It is no different for middle school and high schoolers today.  They desire to take part in mercy ministries and things that allow them to love their neighbor.

HERE IS MY DILEMMA:  How do we begin to facilitate this for our students alongside of the relational and family driven stuff?  Do we maximize our efforts at all three or do we champion one over the other?

HERE IS WHAT I AM LEARNING:  I am learning to let students dream big.  I am asking thought-provoking questions, such as:  What do you want to do for Christ NOW?  If you could anything for Jesus right now then what would you do?  What are the top 3 things you want to do for Christ in your schools before you graduate high school?  And when they come to me with answers, I am learning to champion those dreams, help them think through them, equip them, and allow them to be the catalysts for making it happen.

One last thought…

I am sure that student pastors, much like myself, all over the country are asking some of these questions.  There has been so much stuff written on championing the family these days that stuff like relational environments and missional, love your neighbor stuff is kind of being put on the back burner.  Kids are desiring the relational and missional stuff more than ever today.  So, as we think through the development of youth culture and where it is continuing to evolve, let us not forsake what they are passionate about to the detriment of championing one philosophy of ministry over another.  Let us continue to explore, develop, and engage… for the gospel of Jesus Christ and his glory alone.

-GRG

Last night at Foothills Church, we had our first student event of the year — The Summit.

The Summit is designed specifically for our upcoming 9th graders — and this time it was just for guys.  This is a leadership event (level 4/5 if you know David Adam’s 5 Levels of Programming) where we talk about biblical manhood, discuss purity, and talk about what I expect from them over the next 4 years as the leaders of our student ministry.  Last night, specifically, we talked about servant leadership, drank a gazillion IBC Root Beers, and I gave them each a belt to signify the importance of purity and the challenge of keeping their pants on as they go throughout high school.

We had 12 guys there last night. Not bad for a student ministry that started a little over a year ago.  Remember, this specific event is for 9th graders only.

We started off playing the game ZOOM.  It’s a great little leadership game.  The object of the game is for the group to put a story together in 30 minutes.  Each person has a card in his hand telling part of the story.  They cannot show the card.  They can only describe it, act it out, etc.  Within the 30 minute timeline, they must put the story together from beginning to end the best they can.  After the game is over, you sit your group down and debrief their personalities, who emerged as the leader of the group, who influenced the group the most negatively, who got lost in the shuffle (and why) — all those types of things.  It’s a blast and it tells you a ton about the leadership qualities of the people in your group.

You can find the game HERE.

Secondly, when we debriefed the game, we described the characteristics of the main leader that emerged from the game.

Here is what my guys came up with for the leader who emerged:

After we finished debriefing the game, we went directly into what they thought a leader looked like within our student ministry.  Here is what they also came up with — complete with the top four they thought a leader in our student ministry should look like.  And by the way, B.M.B / L.P.P stands for biblical manhood Boaz (Leader, Provider, Protector).

Next week, we are talking about courage, shooting some guns, and talking more about my expectations for them as leaders in our student ministry.

Should be a blast!